3 Easy Actions For Happiness: The Act Of Letting Go

Listening to: 1 A.M. Study Session on ChilledCow

I’ve been guilty of judging myself too harshly. Thinking what I make isn’t good enough, that it isn’t even worth trying. That I should stay in my lane.

But I’ve also come to realize how wrong that is. Nobody starts being good at something, and nobody starts knowing everything they need to know about something.

And, more importantly, judging myself and holding myself to an impossible standard was just not healthy.

Over the last, call it 6 months, I’ve really attempted to learn how to let go; to let go of judgement (of myself and others), to let go of not being “good enough” (for myself and others), to let go of expectations (of myself and others). And I have to say, I’m 100% happier for it.

I’ve been applying this to my creative endeavors as a microcosm of my general daily macro processes. By practicing this “letting go” in small efforts, I’m finding it easier and easier to apply it elsewhere.

Here’s some of the things I’m doing on the creative side that are working for me. Maybe they will work for you? Or do you have other ways of letting go in small ways?

1 Try Something New.

Nothing will exercise your risk-taking and creative muscles more than trying something new.

In the last few weeks, I’ve really dived into digital art. It’s been challenging because 1) I have no real experience with it, and 2) I have a tendency to get frustrated with the finished product not being what I had pictured in my mind.

And in the act of trying something new, I’ve needed to practice letting go of self-judgement, and at a larger scale, letting go of the judgement of others. I’ve had to practice not having an expectation of myself to immediately be good at something.

The process of learning how to draw some landscapes has been a blast. Some of them have turned out much better than I thought they would, and I’m enjoying the process of getting better at it, at learning, and just drawing something and having it not be perfect.

An artist that I love and respect is Mike Krahulik of Penny Arcade. He once said at a PAX Q&A with he and Jerry Holkins (the writer of their comic strip) that he hates everything he’s drawn as soon as he’s done. I asked him about this on Twitter, and he responded.

I didn’t understand this until very recently. But now, I get it. He isn’t searching for perfection, per se, but is enjoying the process of getting a little better each time, of evolving.

Because what’s the worst that happens if you mess up, or it doesn’t come out right? You erase, you start over…but that’s it. Nothing bad happens.

2 Put It Out There.

This is all about taking risks and eliminating judgement. Just make something and put it out there, and don’t sweat the commentary. It’s not about getting accolades, it’s about precisely the opposite: it’s about making something in a public space without worrying about what anyone else has to say about it.

I tried this a few months ago with some singing. Spoiler: I can’t sing well at all. But I put it out there. And nothing bad happened.

I’ve been doing this with the digital art as well. I’m creating art elements for a live-streamed show I run with some friends, and I’m posting the in-progress shots on my social channels.

I follow a lot of people who create incredible art in many different styles, and I know my stuff doesn’t compare. But that’s the point: it’s an exercise in eliminating comparison and expectations. These folks have been practicing their art for years and are at a different place in their journey than I am.

I have to mention Amy T. Falcone in the same thought here as Mike, as having watched both of them draw live on their respective streams (Penny Arcade on Twitch and Amy T Falcone on Twitch), it’s helped me generate the courage to take this risk. By showing their process, not only did it help give me a place to start in this journey, but it also showed me, literally, how many times they have to go back and erase something. And they do this publicly. That takes courage.

3 Delete It

Raise your hand if you’re a file hoarder. Go on, it’s fine, no judgement.

I’m the same way. I can find files on my drive that I haven’t looked at in years. I have two laptops around here somewhere that I can’t bare to get rid of, despite them not working, because there might be files on there from who-knows-how-many years ago on there that I may need one day.

But something I’ve been doing recently is deleting the “source” files (the raw project files) as soon as I’m done with them, mostly out of practicality in that most of the things I make on my computer (audio projects, art, video projects) take up a HUGE amount of space, and hard drive storage is a finite resource.

This simple act can be a bit cathartic. I made a thing, I released into the wilds of social media, and then deleted the source files off of my computer. I can’t go back and change it or tweak it. It’s a finished work.

This goes to exercising that lack of judgement on myself. What’s made is made. Was it good? Who cares? Who can really say? “Good” is subjective. It’s not just about taste, it’s about where I was in that moment, both in terms of skill development and emotionally and mentally.

These are just three things I’m doing now that have helped me. I hope that they might be able to help you.